ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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