can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
