jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
