Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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