Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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