ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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