if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
so much tequila, so little girl.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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