Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
