i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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