from now on my penis is your penis
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
