I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
