i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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