i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
