i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
