You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
