I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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