Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
