Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
