apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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