On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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