Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
