do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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