Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
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