i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
