All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
