Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
