Don't you send me to vm
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
