i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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