I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
