Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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