You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
