I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
