Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize
