You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
