Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
