You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
