It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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