Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
