that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i think i have two assholes
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
