Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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