Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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