yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
time to smoke my breakfast
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
