IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize
