Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
