i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize