You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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