We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
