I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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