legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
i think we sleep fucked last night...
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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