I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
