he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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