I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You pole danced in your parka.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
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